It's really ironic and funny at the same time how life always gives us back what we rightfully deserve. Be it delayed by a few years, a few seconds, or even by a lifetime.

I have always believed in Karma eversince I was old enough to understand its meaning. "Ayan, na karma ka 'no?" my friends would often say when I get bad luck and they feel its just a form of "atonement" for something I've done which I shouldn't have. I usually shrug and say it's nothing. But deep inside I would know that I have paid for whatever debt I owed.

While driving home from work on the 24th, that was around 5:00pm, Karma came out to get me. Actually, it came in the form of a dog.

I was cruising along a side road near Makati and San Andres's boundary, when this dog suddenly crossed the road. I knew right there and then that I would crash. I tried to veer left and the dog backtracked. I still hit it. I felt the thud as my front tire hit its body. Then I was lifted off my seat and sent flying about 2 meters away from my motorcycle. I felt my helmet bounce once, twice, thrice and scrape the pavement. My left arm intsinctively clutched my abdomen and my right arm was placed around my nape. Everything happened so fast that I had no time to comprehend exactly what happened.

The passengers of the car behind me alighted and checked my injuries. A cab driver stopped to turn Lora (my bike) off and check for damages. I was still on the pavement as I was asked to move my feet, which to my surprise I could still do. Those guys were quite shook up, I could tell. Someone offered to take me to the hospital, but I declined.

When I felt that I was ready to stand up, the cab driver took my hand and helped me up. He told me to rest awhile and call someone if I lived nearby. I guess I looked like such a mess. I discovered that my imitation crocs were totally screwed up. The left shoe was split open from toe to pinkie and my left foot was scraped to no end. That was when I felt the pain. I wondered how I could drive home with my shoe split that way.

I called Buddy right away and told him what happened. He asked me to contact Joseph, as he was the one who lived closest to me and would get there ASAP. But, unluckily, Joseph was already at his parent's house in cavite for the holidays. I decided to go home first and assess whatever happened.

Driving was so painful that tears were streaming down my cheeks and was getting mopped up by the foam of my helmet. Finally reaching our gate, I felt I could contain the pain no longer and told Nina to hurry up. Upon parking in the garage, I immediately told Iris to please tend to my wounds. My sisters all stared and asked what happened when they saw that I looked like hell.

Ate Aileen told me to go to the hospital to have the baby monitored. Iris went with me to Manila Doctor's emergency room and had the baby and my injuries checked. Good thing there were no broken bones. Just a bruised body and scared soul. Buddy arrived and soon got to listen to the baby's heartbeat. It was beating so fast (but it was normal for an unborn), and I couldn't help smiling. I was so happy to see him there that even though the pain in my foot was killing me, I was smiling the whole time he was there with me. This incident erased all the bad memories of me being hospitalized and he was nowhere in sight. I felt that finally, he was here for me and our baby. I knew at that time that no matter what would happen in the future, Buddy would love his child.

When we finally arrived home, Iris and I feasted on the lasagna Buddy bought and had a few laughs with my other sisters. It was all in all a good outcome. Because of this injury, I realized that even if I was a pain most of the time to my sisters, they still cared about me. I guess I finally was able to open up to my sisters and somehow received their forgiveness for being such an ass for the majority of my life.

 I lost my bag last Nov. 27. Actually, it was stolen. I dont want to go into details of how I lost it, but it hurts. It contained all my ID's, cash, personal effects and pasalubongs. Sheeep, how I wish mag drop dead nalang yung kumuha nun, or ma-karma sha. Sbe ni Buddy, isipin ko nalang daw na mas nangangailangan yun kesa sken. Ok. I was thinking "May cancer yung anak nya at kailangan ipagamot." Pangpalubag-loob.

Pero ang sakit paren. Imagine, all my identification cards! If ever ma-aksidente ako sa daan, ni isang piece of ID wala. Tatoo nalang sa daliri ko ang gagamitin pag identify sa akin. Imagine, my SSS ID, company ID, drivers license, NARIAG ID, Maxicare, IATA, Visa Card (max'd out), AAdvantage, Aeroflot frequent flyer... at eto ang pinaka masakit.. my ATM.

I had to suspend my ATM card, and it being a holiday tomorrow..there is no way I can withdraw my salary. I have to do an over-the-friggin-counter transaction to get my money. It sucks. It really sucks.

Damn those people who thrive on stealing. Damn it. Damn them.

hay, salamat naman at bumalik  na si Mommy love... fresh from maternity leave.

Kamusta naman ang bagong panganak?

ever tried collecting a whole set of mc donalds happy meal toys?

Its almost Christmas. I can feel the shivers on my spine, especially when I'm on my way to the office (around 11:40pm)... Sadly, I think that maybe, just maybe, the Christmas cheer can only be felt by children. Those who are still too young to understand that this season means a lot of outgoing cash for people like me.

My daughter is already excited about the gifts she'd be getting from her aunties and me this Christmas. She has even voiced out her "wish list" as early as Septmeber. Mine was to be a Barbie "laptop", my eldest sisters' was for a bike, which has recently changed to a set of barbies' 12 dancing princesses (2 barbies in a box if you please). Tita Din's gift was not discussed by her because, as she said "lagi naman maganda gift sakin ni tita din eh"... I recently went window shopping and found that the lapotop she wanted was around 6,000php. I sucked in air ( a lot of it) and said, ok... it's just once a year that this happens.

I wonder when I would get the happy feeling again.. the joy that comes when you know that you would go to "simbang gabi" either with your loved ones or your friends, buy bibingka on the way, and not really go inside the church because its too crowded. I long for the Christmas breeze that I once enjoyed as a kid. I remember that sometimes, I would just stare out our window (with christmas lights made up to look like a tree) and have that wistful attitude. I think at that time I was wondering what Christmas would be like when I grow up.

I've experienced a lot over the years, but amazingly, none of the bad times occured during the Christmas Season. Could it be that He really is out there looking over us, no matter how many we are, no matter if we forget Him, no matter if we sin? Is it possible that even though I have sinned so many times, He still would not allow me to feel the pain on this season? I have heared stories of people having the worst times of their lives during this time, but still, I have never encountered that. (I hope this continues)... Sometimes I feel as if I've neglected Him for so long that I deserve to be punished for my deeds (or the lack of it).. But still, whenever I mumble a silent prayer, whether it be before going to sleep, while taking a bath, or simply here at work, I find that these small prayers always gets answered in one way or the other. Still, there are people who pray all day long, wishing for something, hoping for a miracle, but to no avail. Could it be because it just wasnt meant to be? Its weird. But Im thankful for it.

I have always likened my life to that of the Prodigal Son (daughter in my case). Its comforting to know that even if I have made so many mistakes in my life, I will always have my family to share my burden with, who will make me strong again, who will always help me get up no matter how many times I fall. I feel priviledged to have this family wherein, even if we are already pissed off at one another, when someone is in dire need, we would let go of our differences and help each other out. So far, I have always been on the receiving end of my Mom and my sister's helping hand. I know that the day will come wherein I'd be the one to provide the help needed, although Im wishing that nothing would happen wherein we'd be in need again.